当DBA开始摸鱼2025年某深夜，一位不愿透露姓名的DBA为了在监控大屏上隐藏游戏行为，竟用SQL实现了俄罗斯方块！从此，`SELECT`成了方向键，`UPDATE`成了旋转指令，`DELETE`成了消除大招。本文将揭秘这个疯狂项目的技术内幕，教你如何用SQL语句"合法摸鱼"。
---
## 一、游戏地图：用二维数组建模
### 1.1 创建量子战场
```sql
CREATE TABLE tetris (
game_id SERIAL PRIMARY KEY,
-- 使用10x20的二维数组表示游戏区域
matrix INTEGER[20][10] DEFAULT array_fill(0, ARRAY[20,10]),
-- 当前方块类型（I/O/T/S/Z/J/L）
current_shape CHAR(1) NOT NULL,
-- 当前方块坐标 (行,列)
position POINT DEFAULT '(0,4)',
-- 下一个预览方块
next_shape CHAR(1) NOT NULL
);
```
### 1.2 方块模板库
```sql
-- 存储所有方块形态的JSONB
CREATE TABLE shapes (
shape CHAR(1) PRIMARY KEY,
-- 每个形态的4种旋转状态
forms JSONB NOT NULL
);
INSERT INTO shapes VALUES
('I', '[[[0,0],[1,0],[2,0],[3,0]], [[0,0],[0,1],[0,2],[0,3]]]'),
('O', '[[[0,0],[0,1],[1,0],[1,1]]]'), -- 永远不变的社畜
('T', '[[[0,1],[1,0],[1,1],[1,2]], [[0,1],[1,1],[1,2],[2,1]]...');
```
---
## 二、物理引擎：SQL驱动的重力系统
### 2.1 自动下落的触发器
```sql
CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION auto_fall()
RETURNS TRIGGER AS $$
BEGIN
PERFORM pg_sleep(1); -- 游戏速度控制器
UPDATE tetris SET position = position + '(1,0)'
WHERE game_id = NEW.game_id
AND NOT exists_collision(); -- 碰撞检测函数
RETURN NEW;
END;
$$ LANGUAGE plpgsql;
CREATE TRIGGER gravity
AFTER INSERT ON tetris
FOR EACH ROW EXECUTE FUNCTION auto_fall();
```
### 2.2 死亡旋转检测
```sql
CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION rotate() RETURNS void AS $$
DECLARE
new_form INTEGER[];
BEGIN
-- 获取当前旋转状态的下一个形态
SELECT forms->>(rotation_index %4) INTO new_form
FROM shapes, tetris
WHERE shapes.shape = tetris.current_shape;
-- 碰撞检测（使用数组相交判断）
IF NOT exists (
SELECT 1 FROM unnest(new_form) AS cell
WHERE (position[0]+cell[0], position[1]+cell[1]) IN (
SELECT (row,col) FROM exploded_matrix WHERE val = 1
)
) THEN
UPDATE tetris SET current_form = new_form;
END IF;
END;
$$ LANGUAGE plpgsql;
```
---
## 三、消除系统：当DELETE成为必杀技
### 3.1 行扫描检测器
```sql
WITH line_check AS (
SELECT row, bool_and(cell=1) AS full
FROM (
SELECT row, unnest(matrix[row]) AS cell
FROM generate_series(1,20) row
) t
GROUP BY row
)
DELETE FROM tetris
WHERE row IN (SELECT row FROM line_check WHERE full)
-- 此处触发消除动画：pg_notify('line_clear', row_count)
```
### 3.2 重力更新（消除后的下落）
```sql
UPDATE tetris
SET matrix = new_matrix
FROM (
SELECT array_agg(
CASE WHEN rn > cleared_count
THEN matrix[row - cleared_count]
ELSE array_fill(0, ARRAY[10])
END
ORDER BY row
) AS new_matrix
FROM (SELECT count(*) FROM line_check WHERE full) cleared_count
) t
```
---
## 四、游戏控制：用SQL语句操作方块
### 4.1 移动控制函数
```sql
CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION move(direction CHAR) RETURNS VOID AS $$
BEGIN
CASE direction
WHEN 'L' THEN
UPDATE tetris SET position[1] = position[1] -1
WHERE position[1] > 0
AND not exists_collision('left');
WHEN 'R' THEN
-- 右移类似逻辑
WHEN 'D' THEN
-- 瞬间下落：递归调用直到碰撞
PERFORM move('D');
END CASE;
END;
$$ LANGUAGE plpgsql;
```
### 4.2 计分系统（物化视图版）
```sql
CREATE MATERIALIZED VIEW score AS
SELECT
game_id,
sum(pow(2, lines))::INT AS score
FROM (
SELECT game_id, unnest(lines_cleared) AS lines
FROM tetris_history
) t
GROUP BY game_id
WITH DATA;
-- 自动刷新
CREATE TRIGGER update_score
AFTER INSERT ON tetris_history
FOR EACH STATEMENT
EXECUTE PROCEDURE refresh_score();
```
---
## 五、图形渲染：终端里的ASCII艺术
### 5.1 实时画面生成
```sql
CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION render() RETURNS TEXT AS $$
DECLARE
screen TEXT := '';
BEGIN
FOR y IN 1..20 LOOP
FOR x IN 1..10 LOOP
screen := screen ||
CASE WHEN matrix[y][x] = 1 THEN '■'
WHEN is_current_block(y,x) THEN '□'
ELSE '·'
END;
END LOOP;
screen := screen || E'\n';
END LOOP;
RETURN screen;
END;
$$ LANGUAGE plpgsql;
-- 在psql中观看动态效果
\! watch -n 0.1 "psql -c 'SELECT render()'"
```
---
## 六、多人对战：分布式俄罗斯方块
### 6.1 基于逻辑复制的战场同步
```sql
-- 主节点配置
CREATE PUBLICATION tetris_pub
FOR TABLE tetris WITH (publish = 'insert,update,delete');
-- 从节点订阅
CREATE SUBSCRIPTION tetris_sub
CONNECTION 'host=master dbname=tetris'
PUBLICATION tetris_pub;
-- 攻击对手（发送垃圾行）
SELECT send_garbage(
(SELECT count(*) FROM cleared_lines) / 5,
target_player);
```
---
## 七、游戏彩蛋：DBA的隐藏关卡
### 7.1 管理员后门
```sql
-- 一键消除所有行（老板键）
CREATE OR REPLACE FUNCTION boss_key() RETURNS VOID AS $$
BEGIN
UPDATE tetris SET matrix = array_fill(0, ARRAY[20,10]);
PERFORM pg_notify('panic', 'Boss is coming!');
END;
$$ LANGUAGE plpgsql;
-- 伪装成系统进程
SELECT masquerade_as_autovacuum();
```
---
## 结语：当SQL成为游乐场
在这套系统里，每个方块下落都是一个事务，消除行是精心设计的触发器，而游戏失败则是触发了唯一约束——你的想象力。虽然用FPS（帧每秒）来衡量，SQL版俄罗斯方块可能只有0.5FPS，但谁在乎呢？当你在pgAdmin里用EXPLAIN ANALYZE查看游戏执行计划时，真正的DBA已经赢了。毕竟，能边"优化查询"边玩游戏，才是终极摸鱼之道！
**三连解锁隐藏内容**：
- [用CTE实现AI自动对战]
- [基于WAL日志的回放系统]
- [让psql变成RGB电竞外设的奇技淫巧]
**附录：SQL方块生存指南**
| 操作 | SQL命令 | 风险等级 |
|------|---------|----------|
| 左移 | SELECT move('L') | ★☆☆☆☆ |
| 瞬降 | CALL hard_drop() | ★★☆☆☆ |
| 旋转 | EXECUTE rotate() | ★★★☆☆ |
| 作弊 | UPDATE score SET... | 💀💀💀💀 |